A Trip My Heart Needed
This past weekend, I experienced something I didn’t realize my heart had been waiting for.
I traveled to Maryland to visit my younger half sister for the first time in several years. My childhood was what I often call character building. After losing my mother to suicide when I was four, I grew up in and out of foster homes. For a period of time, I lived with my step family and truly believed that was where I would grow up. When I had to leave, it was devastating.
During that chapter of my life, I was loved deeply by two people who treated me as if I were one of their own. Bubbie and Pop Pop, my step mom’s parents, loved me as much as I loved them. Their love was steady, warm, and unconditional. Unfortunately, Pop Pop passed away a few years ago, and I still wish I had told him just how much he meant to me.
Above is a digital painting I did of Bubbie and Pop Pop for Gwynneth’s cousin, Lexie…wait…my cousin? Our cousin? Yea, our cousin.
Finding Our Way Back
Life has a funny way of bringing pieces back together. Thanks to the internet and social media, my younger sister and I reconnected last year, right before she had her daughter, Lily. Getting to know her has been one of the sweetest surprises of my life.
We have so much in common that we constantly laugh and say “Twinsies” every time we discover another similarity.
My sister, Gwynneth, is gentle, self aware, mindful, kind, and deeply insightful. She reminds me so much of my own sensitive nature.
One wild moment of the weekend was meeting my nephew, Noah, for the first time. Noah is 12 and about to turn 13, and he is already a gifted basketball player. Watching him move, you can see his focus, confidence, and natural ability. At one point he even showed us that he can do a one hand push up, which completely impressed me.
As we were talking, we realized something that made us laugh immediately. Noah and Lily are twelve years apart, the exact same age difference as Gwynneth and me.
Of course, we looked at each other and said it at the same time.
Twinsies!
We had planned this visit a few times before. The first time my car broke down. The second time her son, Noah, got sick. But the third time truly was the charm. It worked out perfectly because I was able to be there to celebrate her 29th birthday.
From the moment I arrived, we bonded quickly and effortlessly.
Returning to Bubbie’s House
Gwynneth and her husband are currently staying with Bubbie to help care for her, as she is living with dementia. I was nervous about going back. I wasn’t sure if being at Bubbie’s house again would be triggering.
Instead, it felt bittersweet in the most healing way.
It felt like my sister and I had never been separated. We picked up as if we had always been in each other’s lives. It was truly one of the greatest visits.
The Brightest Little Light
And then there was Lily.
I have never met a happier or more smiley baby. Laughing and smiling seem to be her favorite things, just like her mom. Lily has her father’s beautiful eyes and her mother’s joyful personality. She looks just like Gwynneth did as a baby.
I was told Lily usually isn’t a fan of going to other people, but she took right to me, like we were long time friends.
A Moment I Will Never Forget
Not only did Gwynneth and I reconnect, but I was relieved and grateful to find that Bubbie seemed to remember who I was too.
While Gwynneth was with Lily, I wrote Bubbie a note telling her how much of a positive impact she had on my life and how deeply I loved her.
She looked at me after reading the note and said, “I love you. You love me?”
I said, “Yes, Bubbie. I love you.”
We hugged, and I teared up.
I have never known a more loving and accepting woman than Bubbie. Even with dementia, her warmth and humor are still there. At one point, she jokingly motioned that she would fight me if I tried to sleep in her room instead of the guest room.
Turning Love Into Art
This weekend was filled with love, laughter, and a feeling of something coming full circle. It felt healing. Like roots reconnecting. Like pieces of my story finding their way back to each other.
When I got home, I knew I had to draw my smiley niece to wrap up one of the best weekends I have had in a long time.
Art has always been how I process life. Sometimes it helps me make sense of the hard parts. Other times, like this time, it helps me hold onto joy.
I am already looking forward to our next visit.
Edited with the support of AI to help shape and refine my story.
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